Riley’s Story

Riley describes having known her husband since childhood; they had always been friends. In the beginning of their relationship, things were all right, but "then all hell broke loose." Riley described him as having a “drinking problem” and becoming “belligerent,” often belittling her when drunk. She recounted one harrowing event where he “choked her to the point of almost losing consciousness while punching her,” with her mom witnessing the incident.

In addition to his daily drinking, Riley endured constant emotional abuse, with him saying, “Bitch, no one’s going to want you after I’m done with you,” and “You ugly ass, no one wants to play with you.” He threatened her, stating, “Bitch, you ain't going nowhere. I'll kill you before you be with someone else.”  

Riley was also the main provider, paying for everything, as he irresponsibly drank. When he first stopped working, she confronted him, and he allegedly responded, “You’re mine, you’re going to do this [pay the bills] for me. 

She also covered for him when he crashed their vehicles while drunk, saying, “I took the blame for it. He was on probation, so I took the blame; we didn’t want any police contact.”

The physical abuse was frequent, “Too many times to count over the years… I’d say at least three times a week,” and she felt manipulated into returning after each incident. “Sometimes I couldn't go to work because my eyes were black,” she recalled, and her mom had to call police to intervene, only for her to “be manipulated into dealing with him again.”

His controlling behavior extended to her whereabouts; he’d tell her after work, “Make sure you come home,” but didn’t follow the same rule himself. If she asked where he’d been, he’d say, “Bitch, don’t worry where I’m at; I’m here now.”

Riley also discovered he had three affairs; she’d always find out because of his drunken behavior. Riley received a call once when he passed out at a restaurant while on a date with another woman. She also recalled him pulling a gun on her when she caught him cheating, though he apologized, saying, “bitch, you ain't got nothing to talk about.”

Riley reflected on his drinking, saying, “His drinking consumed him. He drank every day,” and explained how she often had to babysit him if they ever went anywhere because he’d become too drunk to function. Often, she had to intervene to prevent him from getting into fights. Despite everything, she admitted, “I couldn’t leave. I felt like I was abandoning him; he didn't have nobody. Sometimes love makes you do crazy things.”