Ada’s Story

The history between Ada and her former partner began in 2012 with a period of persistent stalking. While Ada was employed at a local coffee shop and in a relationship with another man, the future abuser established a daily presence at her workplace. This behavior was frequent enough that even regular customers took notice and attempted to “warn her about him.”

By 2013, he began parking at the traffic light near Ada’s house for extended periods. This act was so frequent that her partner at the time would joke, "There’s your boyfriend." 

At the time, Ada believed he was “just being weird” and attempted to ignore the behavior. However, the man also established a connection to Ada’s older sister and began visiting her sister’s home. Consequently, Ada began living in a state of constant avoidance, noting, "I started avoiding [my family's] house if his car was there."

In the summer of 2018, following a period of personal instability with her long-term significant other, Ada entered into a relationship with the man who had been stalking her. He immediately told her they should “be together,” but she did not expect the transition that followed: the relationship became physically violent almost immediately.

Ada quickly became pregnant with her fourth child, and her partner's paranoia intensified. She reported several incidents of being "choked awake" in the middle of the night. 

On multiple occasions, she woke to find him holding a knife to her throat and accusing her of infidelity. She described a grueling cycle where "every other night he was choking me awake," only for him to apologize later and say, "I love you."

The partner utilized extreme threats to maintain total control. 

Beyond the physical assaults, he threatened to "cut the baby out of [her] stomach" and promised to use battery acid to make her "so ugly" that no one else would ever want her if she ever left him. 

His control was so absolute that it even interfered with her medical care. During one emergency, he reportedly tried to fight off male EMTs who were performing life-saving measures after Ada overdosed, simply because he was unwilling to let other men touch her body, even to save her life.

Surveillance was total. Ada described how he installed cameras “inside and outside” the house. If she wanted to text or call someone, she had to enter the contact information and wait for him to “approve” the communication. 

While she was in residential treatment programs on two separate occasions, he forced her to stay on FaceTime all night so he could monitor her while she slept. During one of those stays, he would sit in the parking lot and require her to exercise in front of a window so he could see her at all times.

Ada’s belief that escape was impossible was reinforced by the failure of the systems meant to protect her. 

On two separate occasions, Ada tried to escape in the middle of the night, even making it as far as her car. He quickly discovered she had left and “opened the car door, ripped me out of the car, and dragged me back upstairs by my neck.” She reports that on the second occasion, he beat her with a hammer.

After a neighbor witnessed the first incident where she was dragged into her apartment and called the police, Ada watched as the officers spoke only to her partner. "The cops didn't even ask me what was going on," she recalled. 

To Ada, this was proof that "nobody can help me" and that even law enforcement was intimidated by him. When her cousin witnessed the violence and told her she needed to leave him, Ada replied, “Cops can’t even stop him, no one can stop him.”

In April 2021, this dynamic fatally intersected with the legal system. Ada’s partner and another woman conspired to rob an individual. Ada’s alleged involvement consisted of providing transportation - an act she maintains she did not know was part of a crime. 

She drove her boyfriend and the other woman to another location in Connecticut because she “wasn’t allowed to be left alone.” She waited in the car until her boyfriend emerged after about 30 minutes, and the woman followed after 45 minutes. Unbeknownst to Ada, a fatal robbery had occurred, and she was later accused of conspiracy.

While the state viewed her presence as evidence of a conspiracy, Ada’s history indicates a woman living under a "permanent threat," where refusing a partner’s demand was not a viable option. The violence eventually became so severe that Ada felt a tragic sense of relief upon her arrest, stating that she "would rather be here in prison than out there where he could get to me." 

To this day, the psychological toll persists; Ada reports that she still experiences "panicking, hyperventilating, and crying" whenever she hears a loud man’s voice.